The Renewal of Marriage Vows of …
Laura and Steve
Saturday, 22 July 2000
12:00 p.m. in Aptos, California

Laura and Steve, 10 years, 4 months, and 4 days ago … you were surrounded family and friends who gathered to witness your marriage, to share your joy, and to wish you patience, strength, and happiness. We gather today, 10 years, 4 months, and 4 days later, to witness the renewal of those same vows, to share your joy, and, to get free food, lodging, and entertainment.

I thank you, my daughter, for inviting me to do my "fatherly" thing…as long as I don't talk about "barfing" or things like poison oak in non-public areas. But then, I was in a bit of quandary about what to say.

You are still in love with each other. That has not changed. Steve still makes your coffee and cooks most of the meals, that has not changed. We all love you, and wish for you happiness and joy. That has not changed.

But I think that time does sometimes make us wiser, and more realistic. One of my favorite movies was "Fiddler on the Roof." It was a trying time in the lives of those Russian Jews. They were being oppressed and up-rooted. They only thing they had to hang onto was…tradition. 

When Tyeve's oldest daughter fell in love with the tailor, tradition almost collided with romantic love. But Tyeve worked within the system of arranged marriages to make everyone happy. But by the time the last daughter fell in love, the power of tradition had collapsed. She fell in love with a Russian goa, left her family, and set off to be with him in Siberia. Like many young people she was certain that romance was eternal and able to overcome all obstacles. 

For her, I hope it was. For many, unfortunately, it is not. Young couples too often stand before God and families, to make unrealistic vows of eternal love, that simply cannot withstand the forces of crying babies, bulging waistlines, strained budgets, and hectic schedules.

But perhaps attitudes are changing … Since you and Steven and Michele have left home, I never know what movies to watch. So, I asked a young couple what was the funniest, most enjoyable movie they had seen in the last month, that had no sex, blood, or filthy language in it. They sort of looked at each other and then recommended: "Run Away Bride." I rented it. Julia Roberts, the bride, has left 4 guys at the altar. Richard Gere, a divorced columnist, hears about her story, publishes a scurrilous review of her, gets sued and fired, then sets out to really humiliate her. Of course, he falls in love with her. Who wouldn't? But as he stands at the altar, she runs out of the church, jumps on a UPS truck, and leaves him panting in the road behind her. 

Later, perhaps years, she appears in his apartment. She gives him her running shoes, kneels before him, and says: "I love you. Will you marry me?"

When Gere hesitates, she is elated, for now she has an opportunity to express to him, using his own words, what she means by her proposal. They are words of reality, now grounded in reality. Sitting before him, face to face, holding hands, she said:

I guarantee that we'll have tough times;
and I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee, that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret if for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one … for me.
In your ten years, 4 months, and 4 days …you have undoubtedly hurt one another, as most married couples do. At some point one or both of you have probably wanted to get out.

You have groaned under daily stresses, and put up with each other when it was not easy, because you have also loved one another, cared about each other and forgave each other, and stood by each other when the only thing holding you together was, perhaps, a vow, or tradition.

God loved the world so much, says Paul, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. God then raised up that broken and mutilated flesh of Jesus to prove, that when God says, "I love you," that means, "forever, despite all the hurts and disappointments and bloody failures."

And that is what, I pray, this day is all about. That in the face of all the pressures and strains and struggles and disappointments you affirm again: "I love you…You're the only one for me."

And so, Steve, place the ring your are giving to Laura in her ear and declare to her, and before the world:

I, Steve, take you, Laura, to be my partner. I will be faithful, open, and honest with you, support, trust, and care for you. I will share with you the plans, dreams, failures and fantasies of our life together. And now Laura, place the ring you are giving to Steve in his ear and declare to him, and before the world, your love for him: I, Laura, take you, Steve, to be my partner. I will be faithful, open, and honest with you, support, trust, and care for you. I will share with you the plans, dreams, failures and fantasies of our life together. You have all heard the renewal of marriage vows of Steve and Laura. You are witnesses to this relationship joined together by love, respect, friendship, and mutual hopes. Keep them in your prayers and thoughts.  Encourage them and support them.

Steve and Laura, may the love you have shared over the past 10 years continue to grow and flourish to such abundance that it blesses you and enriches the lives of all you touch.

This is our prayer for you. God's blessings be upon you!

You may seal this moment with a kiss.
 

—Super Rev Dad